Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
