You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
