Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
