so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
