My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
