And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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