on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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