I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a