So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.