You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
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you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
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The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.