i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm