i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
