Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
