I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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