I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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