oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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