new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
did i walk over a car last night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
