The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
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I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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