lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
