I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
