Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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