wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
