I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
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You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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