I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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