Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
