I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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