I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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