I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize