Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just gargled with NyQuil
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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