I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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