hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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