I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
