Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it because I queefed?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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