That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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