the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
