I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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