I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I want is dick and wine.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
