yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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