glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
