Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
