Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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