found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
