remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
