I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Drunk is not a location!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
