I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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