i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
