Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
