The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
