i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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