Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
