i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize