I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
