No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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