hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
