Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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