Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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