Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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