His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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