its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
