I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
