I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
