Jerry, you need to find god
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
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