pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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