all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
