whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
